I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
