its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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