im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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