wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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