Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize