did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize