PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
