if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
