Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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