WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
