Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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