Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
