The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
