I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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