I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
