so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
