i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?