Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background