I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Banned from zoo.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.