I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?