I smell stomach acid.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.