16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
