I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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