covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I stole a fireplace last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
