Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
