whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize