I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize