So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
wow bdsm is so cute
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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