So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
