I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
