bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
