i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
