I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
