I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
