so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
