u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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