38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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