to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
