I accidentally had phone sex last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
