is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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