I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize