You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
