Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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