She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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