so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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