he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
