Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize