I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
