im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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