have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
