Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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