I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Randomize
