Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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