i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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