I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
