I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
