I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
