he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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