i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize