Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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