I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.