i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween