problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office