my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.