Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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