she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize