Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's the barista slut.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
