hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
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I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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